Dear God,
I write tonight with a heavy but grateful heart. The memories from this past week have been incredible, and I know I will never forget them. It's all from You, isn't it? The laughs, the joy, the immense care and love felt are so powerful that I know they have changed my life for the better. You brought us all together. The eight of us in one place... knitted together into a family.
Excitement. Coming into this trip, Dad, it was all excitement. New places, new people. The thrill of it all electrified the trip. Everyday was so full. For me, the joy of being around others. The joy of being with kids and laughing. The joy of being with adults and learning how to grow up.
Freedom. Lord, it was a week of Freedom! From You! Freedom of choice, freedom of mind, freedom of heart. To choose to love all. Being productive alone and fruitful with others. I could truly have asked for nothing more.
Care. The immense care, value, and appreciation that went around this Family has yet to be surpassed. From this Family I've had my eyes opened to the way You intended us to function. The looking out for each other, the giving of love, the comfort of a sorrow... All was a shared thing.
Friendship. I can't do anything but fall on my knees in humility and thankfulness for these Friends gained. Hearing the stories! It was so wonderful. So open.. So beautiful! Strength beyond belief. Such an invitation to be myself without hesitation. yet it is coming...
I've been realizing that this bond is so great and long-lasting. Though it is sad to have parted our ways for the week, the joy is that this new adventure has just begun. The joy of living our lives and bringing them together to share is a precious way to live.
Toto. Japanese. The Best of Friends! Spongebob. Sneegugs. Beach. Pool. Boardwalk. Watch the Tram Car, Please! Love. Hugs! Amusement park. Beach house. Wii. On and on the list goes!
So, Lord, thanks go to you an infinite amount for the newfound Family, knit together by You. Thank You for this new beginning, for the Joy of a lifetime. May Your blessing be upon us!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
a Token of love, an expression of Love
Tonight I received a token of Love. As simple as it may seem, it was a dress. A very vivid and colorful one. Intricate in detail, yet its message is clear: love. I cannot seem to fully comprehend the joy swirling inside of me since receiving it.
Do we know? Do we understand? Love is meant to be the foundation of our lives. That deep-seated, selfless sacrifice of care was intended to permeate our beings: spirit, soul - including the mind, the will, and the emotions - and our bodies. With everything, love.
But what happens when there is a miscommunication of love? What if we don't quite get the way someone is expressing love to us? And in the midst of all of this... What if we feel an absence of love?
Oh, how easy it is. When the foundation is sandy, rocky, and unstable. Some days there is security and peace. Other days, such as when there is an absence of tangible expression, a raging sea ensues. How can you forget people care? How can that not take hold? I do not know, though I wish I did. It's an internal tempest, a raging storm that slyly messes with everything...
As a result we beat ourselves up. We take hold of the baseball bat and slam ourselves! As a result we tell ourselves, "No one really cares! What's the point?" As a result we retreat inward, feeling stupid, feeling wrong at every movement or word. Like a child immediately withdrawing her hand from a hot pot, so 'STUPID' flashes before our mind's eye. But what is the truth?
The truth is not any of those things. The truth is that every word, every glance, every moment of our being has intense value. As Jesus speaks this truth to our hearts in the Song of Solomon: Show me your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. To know that God knows every thought, that nothing escapes His notice... That He has intense care and devotion to us and is always with us... That beckons and calls us to relinquish all control and just trust.
So in the end, this expression of love spoke volumes to my heart. It melted yet another layer of the hardness and callousness. The love is soothing the aches and smoothing the rocky foundation of my being.
God is definitely good and answers the desires of our hearts. To know His providential care through those around us is something I cherish.
Thank you, Jesus.
Do we know? Do we understand? Love is meant to be the foundation of our lives. That deep-seated, selfless sacrifice of care was intended to permeate our beings: spirit, soul - including the mind, the will, and the emotions - and our bodies. With everything, love.
But what happens when there is a miscommunication of love? What if we don't quite get the way someone is expressing love to us? And in the midst of all of this... What if we feel an absence of love?
Oh, how easy it is. When the foundation is sandy, rocky, and unstable. Some days there is security and peace. Other days, such as when there is an absence of tangible expression, a raging sea ensues. How can you forget people care? How can that not take hold? I do not know, though I wish I did. It's an internal tempest, a raging storm that slyly messes with everything...
As a result we beat ourselves up. We take hold of the baseball bat and slam ourselves! As a result we tell ourselves, "No one really cares! What's the point?" As a result we retreat inward, feeling stupid, feeling wrong at every movement or word. Like a child immediately withdrawing her hand from a hot pot, so 'STUPID' flashes before our mind's eye. But what is the truth?
The truth is not any of those things. The truth is that every word, every glance, every moment of our being has intense value. As Jesus speaks this truth to our hearts in the Song of Solomon: Show me your face, let me hear your voice. For your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. To know that God knows every thought, that nothing escapes His notice... That He has intense care and devotion to us and is always with us... That beckons and calls us to relinquish all control and just trust.
So in the end, this expression of love spoke volumes to my heart. It melted yet another layer of the hardness and callousness. The love is soothing the aches and smoothing the rocky foundation of my being.
God is definitely good and answers the desires of our hearts. To know His providential care through those around us is something I cherish.
Thank you, Jesus.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
through Other eyes
Perception. To observe, to perceive, to have awareness.
Have you ever thought of what it would be like to only see things through one set of eyes? It just isn't right...
Through many broken relationships, hurts, wounds, and pain, the only way we know how to function is from inside. The callousness, walls, and shells all distort the truth of the way things really are. We shut ourselves off to people because it is safe, and we take things into our own hands through control!
And so relationships don't get built. Bridges are not strongly forged. Shared and common experiences dwindle. All along we miss the importance of others' lives, interests, and love. We miss out on their perspective.
Recently developing a few healthy, stable relationships is opening me up to our need for others. Being closed off and shut down to so much in a few years has created so many blockages. But now the clouds are parting and light is shining through. The joy of companionship and sharing in life together is bubbling something wonderful inside. I can feel the joy rising up from within.
The laughter! The love! The enjoyment and delight in one another!
This is what life was intended to be like: Looking out for each other always. Families caring, tying us together into one larger family. All of this knitting us together even closer - for a higher purpose and calling.
May we all reach out beyond ourselves to something higher. May we constantly seek the Lord on how to care, how to love one another, how to communicate worth and value to others. May we continually be forged into abundant healthy relationships to open each others' eyes to the many facets of life.
I believe in the Lord. I trust in the Lord. I have faith in the Lord. That His light would shine on us all to open our eyes to what is the Truth. If we will only turn and say Yes to God, then He will turn us away from the darkness that blocks our vision and turn us to the Light instead.
May the Light and the Love of Jesus Christ be with you always!
Have you ever thought of what it would be like to only see things through one set of eyes? It just isn't right...
Through many broken relationships, hurts, wounds, and pain, the only way we know how to function is from inside. The callousness, walls, and shells all distort the truth of the way things really are. We shut ourselves off to people because it is safe, and we take things into our own hands through control!
And so relationships don't get built. Bridges are not strongly forged. Shared and common experiences dwindle. All along we miss the importance of others' lives, interests, and love. We miss out on their perspective.
Recently developing a few healthy, stable relationships is opening me up to our need for others. Being closed off and shut down to so much in a few years has created so many blockages. But now the clouds are parting and light is shining through. The joy of companionship and sharing in life together is bubbling something wonderful inside. I can feel the joy rising up from within.
The laughter! The love! The enjoyment and delight in one another!
This is what life was intended to be like: Looking out for each other always. Families caring, tying us together into one larger family. All of this knitting us together even closer - for a higher purpose and calling.
May we all reach out beyond ourselves to something higher. May we constantly seek the Lord on how to care, how to love one another, how to communicate worth and value to others. May we continually be forged into abundant healthy relationships to open each others' eyes to the many facets of life.
I believe in the Lord. I trust in the Lord. I have faith in the Lord. That His light would shine on us all to open our eyes to what is the Truth. If we will only turn and say Yes to God, then He will turn us away from the darkness that blocks our vision and turn us to the Light instead.
May the Light and the Love of Jesus Christ be with you always!
Where i'm at
No matter where I am at, I am learning. Whether it's easy and joy-filled or difficult for whatever the reason, I am learning, growing... all on that limitless upward curve.
As of recently I have been in some interesting situations. Well, you could call them interesting, or you could label them as totally normal. Even in these 'normal' circumstances I am internally distraught... tied up in knots really. But in reality there isn't anything wrong, I just always feel like it! It is a constant battle with attempting to stay afloat and not get consumed with the perceived wrong.
In every situation and every circumstance I seek to keep my eyes on Christ. By doing so I magnify Him and minimize the problems. Learning to bring the problems out and not keep them in enables the knots to be undone, truth to be known, and a lot more freedom of mind at hand.
This freedom I so cherish. Big, wide-open spaces are places of joy where I soak in the freedom. It's what I long for inside - to feel free. Running, jumping, playing, tumbling, are all what I love to do. All because I want to be free on the inside!
I can truly do nothing on my own. Without God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, without close friends, without prayer and a desire to be well and health, I could be nowhere. I believe that there is hope. Hope for change. Hope for the better. Hope that we can always get closer to that state of perfection, holiness, and fulfillment - all from the Lord and only possible through Him.
So wherever we are at, the Lord is constantly drawing us to Himself, speaking so gently, pulling us in. It's up to us to listen and respond to the knocks on the door of our hearts. This is where continual improvement comes from, that eternal upward curve leading straight to God's heart.
As of recently I have been in some interesting situations. Well, you could call them interesting, or you could label them as totally normal. Even in these 'normal' circumstances I am internally distraught... tied up in knots really. But in reality there isn't anything wrong, I just always feel like it! It is a constant battle with attempting to stay afloat and not get consumed with the perceived wrong.
In every situation and every circumstance I seek to keep my eyes on Christ. By doing so I magnify Him and minimize the problems. Learning to bring the problems out and not keep them in enables the knots to be undone, truth to be known, and a lot more freedom of mind at hand.
This freedom I so cherish. Big, wide-open spaces are places of joy where I soak in the freedom. It's what I long for inside - to feel free. Running, jumping, playing, tumbling, are all what I love to do. All because I want to be free on the inside!
I can truly do nothing on my own. Without God - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, without close friends, without prayer and a desire to be well and health, I could be nowhere. I believe that there is hope. Hope for change. Hope for the better. Hope that we can always get closer to that state of perfection, holiness, and fulfillment - all from the Lord and only possible through Him.
So wherever we are at, the Lord is constantly drawing us to Himself, speaking so gently, pulling us in. It's up to us to listen and respond to the knocks on the door of our hearts. This is where continual improvement comes from, that eternal upward curve leading straight to God's heart.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
in Spite of it all
As Donna VanLiere wrote, "But to love and accept someone regardless of their flaws and failures is a breath of hope in a harsh, finger-wagging world. That is an undeserved gift, which is life itself. That's grace."
In spite of it all we choose to love each other. To look past how things appear, to see beyond the actions--whether present or missing--takes a lot of guts. But that is love, that is grace, that is mercy, all wrapped together in one spinning ball of life. Shouldn't this be the core of our being?
Have you ever struggled to understand, for one reason or another, how people could love you? Then someone comes along and loves you... in spite of it all.
Doesn't Donna speak truth? Too often, no matter where you go, people are pointing fingers, blaming you for one thing or another. Unfortunately we all do it... But why?
It's a vicious cycle. Quite selfish in nature. Pride says, "I'm the one who's right!" Humility, filled with a heart of grace, says, "I forgive you and choose to see you for who you really are."
God never intended us to sin, to do anything that doesn't please Him. Why? Because it causes hurt, pain, death. It's just bad. God intended us to live a joy-filled, love-drenched, self-less life. He wants only the best!!!
That's why in spite of it all... The sin, the hurt, the pain, the turmoil, the bad things going on...
We choose to love It's the best road and highest calling
We choose to hope Things will get better and turn around
We choose to believe God is good and is working things for our own good
We choose to keep our eyes on Jesus Whatever you focus on becomes biggest That's why we're told to magnify the Lord! and in light of it all our problems become small
In spite of it all we choose to love each other. To look past how things appear, to see beyond the actions--whether present or missing--takes a lot of guts. But that is love, that is grace, that is mercy, all wrapped together in one spinning ball of life. Shouldn't this be the core of our being?
Have you ever struggled to understand, for one reason or another, how people could love you? Then someone comes along and loves you... in spite of it all.
Doesn't Donna speak truth? Too often, no matter where you go, people are pointing fingers, blaming you for one thing or another. Unfortunately we all do it... But why?
It's a vicious cycle. Quite selfish in nature. Pride says, "I'm the one who's right!" Humility, filled with a heart of grace, says, "I forgive you and choose to see you for who you really are."
God never intended us to sin, to do anything that doesn't please Him. Why? Because it causes hurt, pain, death. It's just bad. God intended us to live a joy-filled, love-drenched, self-less life. He wants only the best!!!
That's why in spite of it all... The sin, the hurt, the pain, the turmoil, the bad things going on...
We choose to love It's the best road and highest calling
We choose to hope Things will get better and turn around
We choose to believe God is good and is working things for our own good
We choose to keep our eyes on Jesus Whatever you focus on becomes biggest That's why we're told to magnify the Lord! and in light of it all our problems become small
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